Once upon a time there was a woman who was extremely pregnant…well 34weeks and 4 days pregnant with twins to be exact. It was March 16th and Hunnie and I were doing our typical Sunday thang, laundry, movie and just having a lazy day, though most of my days were lazy days at that point. Nothing too out of the ordinary, Intended mom Tracey text me making sure I had their house number just in case I went into labor in the middle of the night as they typically charge their cell phones in another room. I saved the number and we chatted for a bit. Bed time came around and I was having painful braxtons as usual, I made a mention to my 7year old that they really hurt and she asked “do you think the babies are coming?!” typically I say not yet, but this time I said “I don’t know, I hope!”
Well off to dream land I went. What crazy dreams I had, in
each one my dream-self was having contractions . I woke up a few times to turn
(this is quite the Olympic event when you are this preggers) and thought to
myself how real the dreams and contractions felt, but I shrugged it off and
always fell back asleep. At 2am I woke up with an awful pain, I sat there and
wondered what the heck it was, I tinkered on my phone a bit and after two more
pains hit me I decided to get up and time these suckers. I went to the bathroom
first and saw that I lost my mucous plug. That was when I knew it was on like
Donkey Kong! I went to the front room, sat on my yoga ball, put on some Honey
Boo-Boo, did my makeup and started the contraction timer. They were coming
every 3mins and 45 seconds long and each one grew more intense. After 20mins I
called the doctor who told me to head on in to labor and deliver. I couldn’t believe
it! The day was finally here! I quickly dialed the number that intended mom
Tracey gave me just hours ago, they both answered on speaker phone and
essentially hopped in the car and hightailed it outta San Diego to make the
7hour drive. My labors were never that long. In my heart I knew they would not
make it, these contractions were far too intense and I knew I was only an hour
or so from pushing these babies out. I called my mom/best birth coach ever and
she was on her way to meet me at the hospital. I went to go wake up hunnie, I
tapped him and said “babe, its time, we have to go to the hospital” he said “ok”
and rolled over and fell back asleep, then a contraction hit and there is
nothing in the world like those animalistic sounds that come from a woman in
labor. He hopped right up and got into gear, gathered the kids, supplies and
hustled us to the car. By the time we were in the car and dropped off the kids
at Nanas house, I was positive I was already in transition. I would fade into
that zombie land in between contractions and I was praying we would make it on
time.
We got to the hospital and they wheeled me right into a room
to check me, I was 8.5cm dilated already. I had previously decided to get an
epidural. For many personal reasons but also because epidurals slow things down
and in case of an emergency c-section I would be ready. When they told me I was
past 8cm I begged them to tell me I still had time for an epi! They sent the anesthesiologist
up right away. The hardest part was trying to sit still mid contraction while
they gave me the spinal tap. Let me tell you, this epidural thing, is effing
beautiful! Going from transition pains to no pain was amazing! I was able to
enjoy this birth and remember it, my mom and hunnie and I were all talking,
laughing and updating the parents. It was so relaxed and enjoyable. All the
nurses and doctors were with me in holding out hope that the parents would make
it on time, but they were still 4 hours away and by 8am I was 10cm with a bulging
bag. We waited one more hour and my doctor decided it was time to go ahead and
bring these boys to the world.
Protocol for delivering twins vaginally is to deliver them
in the operating room just in case the second baby decides to flip flop and not
come out. As previously decided, my mom would be in the OR with me in the case
that Intended mom Tracey was not there. So she got suited up in her wicked
awesome Breaking Bad looking jump suite. They wheeled me into the freezing cold
O.R room and then the flurry of NICU nurses (because the babies were considered
pre-term) for each baby and the delivery team filed in. I was bummed that the
parents were going to miss the birth but I was so excited that the time was
here to meet these boys. It was push time. Doctor told me to do my thang, I
pushed once. relaxed. Took a breath. Pushed a second time, and I kid you not
Dylan came FLYING out. It startled everyone, including the doctor. I heard his
powerful little lungs and looked down to see that precious little baby, with
his full head of golden hair, his little 5lb 5oz premie body still covered with
lanugo (the waxy film that protects their skin in utero). Then it is Logans
turn. Four minutes later, and two
pushes, Dylan entered the world. His squeaky cry was just as beautiful to hear,
he was 5lbs 8oz. I did it. I just carried two beautiful, healthy boys and
delivered them. I can’t tell you the happiness I felt and the pride in myself
for doing such an amazing thing. I hope this doesn’t come off as conceited but
if it does so be it. I am proud of me and the amazing thing I did, and I’m
proud of these boys. (a side note…after
the babies were born, I coughed and the placenta was delivered. Lol! My doc
said she has never seen something like that, and the fact that I literally
labored in my sleep - she can’t believe how easy I made it all look)
They wheeled me back into the labor room and Hunnie was
baffled, he thought something happened and the delivery was pushed back because
of how soon I was back. Nope, I’m just a bad mamma jamma! The typical stitches and
god awful uterine massaging took place and we updated the parents who were
still two hours away but elated to hear their sons have arrived! Because my
labor went so fast we did not bring any overnight supplies, so after an hour hunnie
and my mom left to go gather supplies and I was happy to be left alone and
reflect of the journey that just took place. I was so full of happiness and
joy, I wanted to take a nap but I was too excited. I was moved to the recovery
room and my mom joined after. Then I get the text from the parents “WE ARE HERE!!”
they soon came right up to my room and gave big hugs. I have NEVER seen bigger
smiles in my life. The look on their faces, the hardship and pain of years past
were gone, because they knew their sons, the children they have waited years
for, were just across the hall. The nurse came in and escorted them to the NICU
to meet their babies. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see them meet
Dylan and Logan. They let me and all the nurses know that I have unlimited access
to the babies and for me to come anytime to see them. I wanted to give them
their space and let them bond first. The nurses updated me on how in awe they
were of their children. It made my heart want to just explode with elation. A
few hours later, they came back to my room and Tracey burst into tears and was
just thanking me over and over again as we hugged and cried tears of joy
together.
I went over with Hunnie
to the NICU to visit with the boys and the parents at about 7pm that night.
Dylan was amazing all the nurses, for only 34weeks gestation he needed NO
oxygen and no help at all. He was healthy by a term baby even though he was
pre-term. I got to hold and feed the beautiful golden haired boy that night.
Logan was on the CPAP machine, which is pretty typical for premie twins. We
were unable to hold him but the next day he was off all oxygen and doing great.
They each have their own little personalities already, much like in the womb
Dylan is calm and observant and Logan is the feisty one. It has been so great
watching Tracey and Sean learn to be parents. Changing the first diaper,
learning to swaddle and take temps. It’s adorable. Our relationship has reached
a new level. We talk and laugh and just enjoy each other and the babies we all
came together to make.
I was released from the hospital less than 24 hours after
the birth and I was so happy to be home with my girls and hunnie. I went
yesterday to deliver milk and visit and I assume I will be back every day or
every other day to do the same.
The number one questions on everyones mind…How am I feeling emotionally…I
am feeling amazing. I am so happy and joyus at a job well done. I am filled
with love for the twins and their parents. We are forever connected as friends,
though I feel friends does not quite explain the deep connection we have. I am
not sad and I do not long for the babies at all. As I held them each time I
asked myself how I truly feel about them, I’d like to say I love them but I feel
that’s not quite right, its more that I have love for them, a deep love and I
care for them but there is a disconnect, a good disconnect as they are not mine
and I have never felt as if they were. I love to hold and snuggle them because
they are babies and so dang cute but that is all. My love is in watching Sean
and Tracey with their sons, and seeing their sons look into their eyes and the
comfort and solace they find in their mommy and daddys arms, as if they have
known each other for an eternity already. It is so beautiful that it is hard to
put into words. I created that, I made that happen, I brought this love to this
family and it’s the most amazing thing (besides my own daughters) that I have
ever done. I am so thankful for this
journey, I learned so much about myself, about others. I have a new outlook on
life and on myself. Dylan, Logan, Sean and Tracey unintentionally brought me
just as much as I brought them. I can never thank them enough for allowing me
to be a part of this beautiful chapter in their life.
I will absolutely be a surrogate again. I do not know when
or for who but with so much heartache in the world I have a god given gift and
ability to make such an amazing beautiful thing happen, I am truly thankful for
that. That is enough mooshyness for one day, back to dealing with these Pamela
Anderson sized boobs/Twin Café.
*The Last Belly Picture, 34weeks*
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*10cm and getting ready to to go to the O.R*
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*Holding Dylan for the 1st time. He has a bruise on his head from the fast delivery*
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*Tracey, Dylan and Me, after delivery*
*The Last Belly Picture, 34weeks*
*beautiful Logan*
